Come in, come in, whoever you are. Make yourself comfortable, and I shall comfort you. Make yourself a table, and I shall lay plates upon you. Make yourself a Comfit Table, and I shall spread liquorice in your centres. Do, please, take your shoes off. They’ve been outdoors, and I don’t like outdoors things to come into my indoors. There are rugs.

When I said “I couldn’t agree more”, I didn’t actually mean that I agree with you.

Behind the door, there is a bell. When it is rung, it can be heard in places. It can be heard in places even when it isn’t rung. Its hearability does not change depending on whether it is making a noise or not. Even if it doesn’t make a noise by itself, someone has to make it make a noise. The hearability of the bell does not change, even if there is no-one in attendance to force the bell to make a noise.

I suppose the wind could do it. If there was a particularly large gust, it might blow the bell enough to make the clapper hit something. Would need to be quite a gust though, it’s a heavy bell. I think it’s made of brass. Possibly copper. Or tin. Definitely not papier mache.

You might notice some stairs. They only go up. From here. Once you’ve gone up, you will notice some stairs. They only go down. From there. In fact, the stairs go neither up nor down, they are just stairs. You can use them to go up if you are already down, or you can use them to go down if you are already up. If you are halfway up or down, like Robin, then you have more choice with the stairs than most people could wish for.

It’s Only Make Believe

Everything you do, you do it for you. Is what Bryan Adams meant to say, but he probably wouldn’t have been at number one for so long if he’d said what he meant.